Sad today

Well today I went back to the hospital to have my blood tests etc. I have been having a bad time with my left foot to the point that I cant walk so I knew that I wasn't well but my markers on the tests have gone way up again, not quite as bad as when I started the treatment but nearly. This has set me back, I HATE this disease and how it makes me feel, I am losing confidence as I am gaining weight very quickly and cant lose it as I cant exercise (cant walk so cant exercise) and the doctor has now increased the MTX again and I have new stronger anti-inflammatories. I have to ice my foot 4 times a day and keep it raised as much as possible and not allowed to walk to much... Mia and Gian are bigger now so it helps but I hate not being able to do things when I want... Graham has been just great as always and has gone to get all my drugs, I have so many now and the doctor wants to put me on steroids... I have read a little and am not sure if I will or not, will read more before making the decision.